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Ashley posted the following question on her facebook:

Abbye recently posted this answer:

Now, the day she posted this I had completely spilled my guts. I won’t make you read it again by linking - - if you are truly interested you can dig for it - it’s still there. I don’t erase. Anyway, Abbye’s answer made me think. What exactly does it mean to be authentic? It’s a very important question for me. One thing in all this world I want people to say of me is that I am the real deal. Have I used “being authentic” as license to vent? Should I only be semi-transparent, bearing only some of my feelings when I am - - well - - feeling it? Is that healthy? Should I conceal the real crux of the matter so everyone will feel better? Is that what God wants from me? I’ve mulled this over in my heart and mind for a few days now. I’ve prayed for God to give me His heart - because I really want to be right on this. This is what I believe…

I think Abbye is right. The degree to which we put it all out there and how is not authenticity… I think that’s maturity’s call. (ouch!)

Authenticity, I believe, has less to do with what we do or say and more to do with how we take care of the messes we’ve created after the fact.

On maturity - There is no doubt I have some growing up to do… and always will. But each authentic act, accompanied by a humble heart and a steady diet of God’s Word will always work in maturity’s favor.

On authenticity - I think… well, I haven’t found myself posing this time around. I’m a work in progress - but progressing forward none the less. (whew!)

I am blessed to be surround by imperfect people who sometimes suffer from an immature moment; by those who sometimes need to put it all out there to deal with, and then make the necessary modifications to march forward. They live what they say they believe in spite of their imperfections. They choose to believe God’s opinion of them over anyone else’s (even their own). They live determined that their shortcomings will not deter them from loving God and fulfilling their purpose. They use their blunders as tools to demonstrate grace and mercy to others who aren’t so perfect either. They exude hope. They perpetuate love. They won’t give up and are diligent to encourage others not to give up either. That makes them authentic - the genuine article. They inspire me to be better, to reach further, to risk more and most of all, to just simply stand up.

There are a lot of you - - I’m so thankful - - and, I love you all.

1. 1 Corinthians 4:1-5
   Leaders have to lead, regardless of public opinion, with a clear conscious… God deals with our motives.
2. 1 Timothy 1:12-17
   God gives us strength. That HE considers us faithful, is what is really important…. being true to God makes us authentic.
3. Proverbs 2:1-9
   We pray for wisdom and understanding and HE guards our course and protects our way…
4. Proverbs 27:17
   We need each other.

hey fellow ROCKers. i posted a bunch of buttons and banners on the Imagine Christmas site. feel free to use these in your posts, sidebars, emails… where ever you like. be sure to link them to http://therockchristmas.com.

thank you all for posting about Imagine Christmas… i’m starting to see traffic coming from a lot of your sites. that’s so cool! keep on posting - - it really makes a difference. love ya’ll!

ladies and gentlemen… we have a new ROCK blogger.

go check out the ramblings of this mad woman.

yay!  i love new bloggers!

I’ve been wanting one of these for a long time. Meet my new Molskine. Just one more creative outlet for my ADD brain. Look! No mouse! My motto for my new Molskine… Never Erase! No Mistakes - - - - Only New Opportunities. I feel more creative already.

i’m getting more and more curious blank stares when I say, “google reader”.  so, to my friends who wonder how I possibly keep up with so many blogs… here you go… google reader 101. your 12 easy steps to informational freedom.

1. go to igoogle.com and sign up for a gmail account. yes, you do need a gmail account. why? because google will eventually take over the world, and you need to be prepared for this.
2. check your email to confirm your gmail account.
3. go back to igoogle.com and sign in with your new google email address and password.
4. make this page your new home page
5. click “add stuff” (it’s in the top right corner of the screen)
6. in the search field at the top type “google reader” and click “Search Homepage Content”
7. the first one in the list should be “Google Reader (labs)”. click “add it now”. (poke around a while and add any modules that have information you want to keep up with)
8. go back to your home page. you will see your new google reader panel on your home page with no feeds.
9. click this link: subscribe to carolyn’s blog
10. subscribe to this feed using “google” and click “subscribe now”
11. click “add to google reader”
12. go back to your home page - now every time i post it will pop up in your reader.

more cool things to do with google to come. keep an eye on your google reader for more…

We watched “Facing the Giants” last night. Not the best acting, or writing or movie I’ve ever seen. However, there were a couple of scenes that hit close to home.

1. The biggest, strongest, most influential kid on the team was not leading by positive example. He was whining and giving up. Coach blindfolded him put a 160 lb. kid on his back and told him to do the dead man’s crawl (on hands and feet - no knees) until he could not do it any more. This was after they had already finished practice and done enough to be worn out. The blindfold was so that the kid couldn’t just give up when he saw he had gone 20 yards which is what the kid told his coach he thought was all he could do. A lot of yelling, a lot of crying, a lot of pain, a lot of drama and 100 yards later the coach told him to take his blindfold off. The kid was in the end zone. The coach told the kid he hadn’t been giving his all - - not like he just did. The kid got it. I got it too.
2. In the final game towards the end this same kid was begging to be taken out of the game. He had played every play against a bigger stronger team and was hurting… crying cause he couldn’t do any more. Coach yelled some more, You can’t give up! You have more! This is when you lead - go give me your best! Just four more downs! The kid got it. I got it too.

So, it occurred to me that I have done an awful lot of whining last week or two. I guess it’s time to start leading.

Got it.

I think Thursday night was quite possibly the most impressive display live musical talent I have ever seen. I don’t think any tangible object on the stage went unplayed - mic stands, amps… sides of stuff - I think the drummer even played a few beats off his arm - yes his very bicep. These guys played their hearts out and left it all on the stage. The sound engineer was amazing - every note was heard from every instrument (including the hits of flesh and bone), every delay calculated, clean and amazing. The video and lighting completely in sync and inspiring.

Abbye knows some of these guys from her days on the road with Dony & Reba. So after the show we all got to go back and meet the band. My favorite part of the visit was when Darren King (drummer) had to leave because he heard that he might have broken something. LOL (coming from the guy who duck tapes his headphones to his head and periodically jumps up on top of his bass drum while he plays).

I almost didn’t go.  Abbye got some free tickets from Israel at the last minute.  Thanks Abs… thanks Israel.  He also left a photo pass for Bryan and he got some amazing shots.  The one above is one of my favorites of Roy Mitchell-Cardenas (bass player).  I love, love, love the sound of an upright bass.  Go check out his other pics… they are awesome.

ok… i’ve been silent out of fear of what everyone will think.  but i need to just type for a while.  let me just pre-empt this post by saying that the artsy emotional side of my personality is being a real pain in the *!#?/*  right now.  my definition of a.d.d. is right brain dominant, left brain highly antagonistic.  this process goes into overdrive when i try to mash too much creative stuff together with too many buttons and wires - it’s complicated.

so, i’m tired.  i haven’t had a good creative thought in several weeks now.  all the electronic and web stuff around me are freaking out on a regular basis and i have huge - i mean HUGE tasks on my task list that are quite frankly stressing me out.  i love my job - i do… don’t doubt for a second what i’m doing.  but desperately searching for some sanity when my mind and emotions get all tangled up like this.  i’m working out, eating better… doing everything i can to be sure i fall asleep at a reasonable hour (that only works out occasionally), praying (a lot)… will someone please tell me the magic combination here!

i hate disappointing people i love.  i take pride in my work.  i’m passionate about making a difference.  lately i feel like i have disappointed much, my work not up to par and making a difference?… not so sure.

this is a picture of me and my abbye.  when i go through stuff like this she just looks at me blankly, raises her eyebrows with a “get over it” look on her face and says you got to find a way.  I hate this about her - - but i absolutely love her for it… because it’s just what i need - - but i really, really, really don’t like it. (ok - abbye - go back and read the part that says i love you).

so, i’d like everyone to please take note that i posted this under ‘personal’ and not ‘the rock’.  i’m ok - - or i will be ok.  just needed to clear my head so i can make room for something creative - - or technical… i don’t know.  just anything that won’t make me cry.  i’m such a wuss.  love you all - really don’t care what you think about me today… because i gotta.

(The following is my latest update on therockchristmas.com. If you haven’t heard about “Imagine Christmas” at The ROCK - go check it out… and tell all your friends. There will be behind the scenes posts each week… so subscribe while you’re there!)

Pastor Abbye and I just got back from Home Depot picking up odds and ends to test out our prop building prowess. I’m sure we raised more than a few eyebrows with the assortment of unrelated paraphernalia we were collecting. She had a shopping cart and I had a SHOPPING CART - - unbalanced, loaded down and requiring a 10 foot turn radius (blind, of course - - and, up hill both ways). I love Home Depot. The employees are notoriously pleasant and helpful. One happy-go-lucky, orange clad, ready-to-assist employee walked by and informed us that Home Depot does installations too. (We must have really looked like we needed help.) I smiled and said, “Oh really? Thank you!” He, he. She had NOooo idea. I was half tempted to ask her if they had ever installed “abc’s*”, or perhaps knew how to build an “xyz**” - just to experience the expression change on her face. I didn’t though. In hind sight now I wish I had. Then I could have invited her to come to Imagine Christmas. Doh! (Note to self…) Now you all can learn from my mistake.

The volunteers are still pouring in. It is so exciting. We have been compiling our volunteer lists and planning meetings to coordinate everyone. In case you haven’t figured it out yet - Imagine Christmas is going to be amazing. Not just an event - an experience. Invite everyone you know. Download the posters and computer wall paper and help get the word out.

* **(now, you didn’t think you were going to get juicy details out of me that easy did you? No, no, no… you have to come see what abc’s and xyz’s are for yourself. ) Find out more here!

Might as well start early - Cam already has.

I love, love, love this!!!!!!! So if anyone is stumped and wondering what to give Carolyn for Christmas (cause I know you all were already thinking about it)….

It can be found here: Helvetica Coffee Mug

Guess I’ll go ahead and start a Christmas List Category.