foolishnotions.net

my inner artist was undeniably stirred at recreate.  what really happened inside of me there?  i know it’s something, but what?  from what?  there was no “a-hA!” moment. no speaker or conversation that brought new revelation to light.  i mean, it was all great – amazing, even – but in a cumulative sort of way.  so, why do i suddenly feel so…. awake?

before i left for franklin i felt as if i were sleepwalking. living in a state of subconsciousness. all the pieces were connected but in a non-connected sort of way.  i was just doing, doing, doing…. flitting from task to task numbly being “productive” — a tangible product noticeably absent for all my activity.  then i read, the war of art at the suggestion of mandy’s post.  i’m glad i read it before i left, because as i listened to people talk it was quite evident that everyone in the room had not only read it, but had committed it completely to memory.  it resonated loudly within me. it’s challenge — to bring to discipline the one thing i say that i am not, that i try to ignore, that i work hard to avoid.  THAT — is likely the thing i am.  it went so far to suggest that giving in to resistance of this thing would be like… (wait, let me get this exactly right…)

“If you were meant to cure cancer or write a symphony or crack cold fusion and you don’t do it, you not only hurt yourself. You hurt your children. You hurt me.  You hurt the planet.

You shame the angels who watch over you and you spite the Almighty, who created you and only you with your unique gifts, for the sole purpose of nudging the human race one millimeter farther along its path back to God.

Creative work is not a selfish act or bid for attention on the part of the actor.  It’s a gift to the world and every being in it.  Don’t cheat us of your contribution.  Give us what you’ve got.”

the war of art
by steven pressfield
(page 165 )

ok… um, ouch!

but, what one thing…. really?  only ONE?!?!?!  i mean, i do a lot of stuff.

so, i’m back home, and i’m different, right?  i mean, i’m veraciously attacking all of the arts i hold so dear in random order:  music, design, literature…. it’s great.  but, how can i have so many loves and give them all the attention and discipline they deserve?  they are all a part of me, but it seems impossible foolishness to attempt maintenance on all these muses. surly my family, my work would suffer for such indulgence and i would go out of my ever-lovin’ creative mind.

all of these thoughts are rambling through my brain today as i was un-selectively selecting various volumes of text from the library stacks of our local biblioteca.  i pulled up a comfy chair and looked at the huge pile of books on typography, bookbinding…. writing.  suddenly and all at once i understood.  all of my loves are not unconnected.  they are totally connected. and, they all point back to my one thing.

consider…

• i am a graphic designer; but, my favorite design discipline is typography.  i love how letters look.  i have favorite letters. i’m frustrated by some words that are supposed to describe pretty things like, “nice,” or “hot.” simply because the shape of their letters and the sounds they produce are not as beautiful as their meanings suggest.
• i often think if i ever to get a tattoo… it will be words. they mean so much more than pictures and they are more lovely too.     (  …lovely is a very pretty word.)
• i sing, but i have always wanted to play an instrument.  not so much so i can perform, but so i can write music.
• the most beautiful music i have ever heard has lyrics as deep as the layers of instrumentation they were assigned to accompany.  to me, one without the other is shallow noise.
• on my iphone i have 2 bibles, 2 book readers, 1 dictionary, 1 thesaurus, 3 word games , 1 typography game and 2 creative drawing apps (both of which use typography to create art).  my favorite app is the kindle app… because i always have books with me and i can look up difficult words immediately.  the most commonly used tag in my evernote database is…. typography.
• i have a shower curtain in my house a dear friend gave me.  it has words and their definitions printed all over it.  i love it.  my husband doesn’t get it.  i think it’s beautiful.  i read it each time i go in there.  and, when i finally get around to redecorating my bathroom, it will be my inspiration.
• i have to be careful about buying art for my house.  because if don’t pay attention, there will not be a painting anywhere to be found… only words, or postage stamps, or labels or posters and such.
• my favorite game is scrabble.  i am really good at it.
• most books bore me.  i crave intelligent humor, prose and meaning that i really have to work for.
• i would rather type someone an email than pick up the phone….  a million-zillion times over.
• i really love to help people edit their writing and brainstorm with them about their writing projects.
• i have often thought if i had to change careers, i would like to try my hand at being an editor.
• my bucket list contains: #3: take a year to travel on a book project of photos, poetry and story telling; and, #4: create a font.

and, for all this evidence, writing is the one thing that makes me feel most inadequate. truly, it’s the one thing i resist the most.  i read this post and it all sounds like rambling, unbearably repetitive, in-concise, non-sense.  i have no training.  i barely do it.  i use creative punctuation.  i’m overwhelmed by new ideas.  most times, starting is like trying to will myself to draw breath under water.  i never feel i have access to enough words, or can arrange them in the right order to give my heart the platform it demands.  once i do begin, it’s a lot like giving birth.  it’s painful, it’s hard, and for all my pushing i mostly fear the only way to bring forth my passionately conceived ideas before they perish would be to cut the words right out of me.

[sigh]

….oh, resistance.

“scalpel!”

it’s a non-traditional #recreate11 unpacking for sure
anyone else out there discover their one thing?

why. is. it. so. HARD?

is it fear?  is it… ummm — fear?  i can’t think of any other reasons – so, i’m going with fear.

• maybe  i won’t have anything to say;
• maybe what i do say will come out in-concise, uninspired, disinteresting ribblish;
• maybe it will consume me;
• maybe it won’t consume me;
• maybe no one will read;
• maybe someone will read;
• maybe lots of someones will read.

foolishnotions has sat unattended bearing the lame header, definition in progress for a looong time.  i stopped writing for whatever reasons but, i’ve come to find out i need to write. i need to write… for me. it’s what i do. and, i suspect the content i feared had gone so completely askew was less an issue of focus and more of purpose.  i stopped being true to me.

so, i’m back – for love of creativity and expression.  which means i’m not gonna attempt the least little bit of focus or consistency.  so, if you’re a church leader or a triathlete, a designer, photographer, poet or lover of those people you live with (…that’s your family…)  you may find something here to relate to…

————- >> or not.
————————– >> tomorrow.
————————————— >> or, maybe next week.
——————————————————– >> whenever the Spirit blows me.

and, no – i will not use proper capitalization.  the shift key slows me down and capital letters are boring. lowercase letters are simply more beautiful.

and, yes…. i use creative punctuation.

and, i probably will invent a word or eighteen… because there aren’t really enough words in the world to get the job done right.

and, i really, realllly, overuse the word really.   you should really get used to that.

and, i promise i’m gonna try to stop starting my sentences with conjunctions now, because it drives me nuts.

still there?
hello?
that’s alright.  it’s probably better y’all catch on later than sooner.

[click, "publish"]

barnes and noble… our favorite date night activity.  i recite silently to myself each time we come, no books about work, no books about work… its’s one of my most important rules.  i’m incapable of engaging the love of my life when i’m thinking about my other true love.  i’ve tried it more times than i care to admit… it can’t be done.  plus, i’ve found this practice does a fairly efficient job of revealing suppressed hopes and dreams… which makes me a decidedly more interesting date.

last night’s quest found me in the ‘writing/publishing’ section.  i pulled 3 books off the shelf and proudly scored one of the 4 comfy chairs in the store.  it took me approximately 42.567 seconds to realize the irony of reading about being a writer.  i politely thumbed the pages of the books as if i didn’t want to hurt their feelings by dismissing them so quickly.  but admit i have absolutely no idea what they were about. my brain was too busy reminding me of the perfectly good moleskine right beside me.

satisfied i had sufficiently humored the fine authors, i plopped the books down next to my purse and began rummaging for something to write with.  as i suspected… moleskine – but no pen.  certainly they sell pens here, right? so off i went.  i really couldn’t justify a $15 pen.  seriously? $15 for a ball point pen?  they were really groovy looking and all, came in a fancy box… but wow, that seems a bit excessive.  determined, i headed for the door when i spied 2 shabby slender boxes over by the book lights.  $2.95,  totally doable.  plus, it had a handy dandy magnifying glass built right in.  pretty slick, actually.  i scooped it up and proudly marched it to the cashier.  this time i snubbed the available cushy arm chair in favor of a hard wooden stool in a quiet corner. i cracked open my moleskine, coaxed the ink out of my new ballpoint and this is what was on my mind…

how often i read, but fail to act;

how often i contemplate, but fail to plan;

how often i learn, but fail to practice;

how often i prepare, yet resist being ready;

‘to know’ is futile without producing ‘to do’;

‘to understand’ is prideful without producing ‘to teach’;

‘to grow’ is meaningless when it fails ‘to reproduce’;

‘to overcome’ is wasted if it fails ‘to encourage’;

knowledge & experience change nothing;

courage & action change everything.

why is it so hard to put the pen on the paper?
why is it so hard to act on inspiration?
anyone… beuller?

yesterday, i was backstage when i saw an old, but never used califone set.  i’ve known it was there.  i have to move it every time i reach for the “bin of brokenness” (clear rubbermaid tub of faulty cables).  but this time i had stored in my sub-conscious my growing need for a clear-com system.  when i picked up the box i thought… man, there’s 10 perfectly good sets of headphones.  so, i opened it and put a pair on.  they fit snug and the noise cancellation was fairly decent.  then i noticed the set came with a hub for the set of 10 headphones which had a 1/4″ source connector.  so, i started rummaging for other spare parts.  i know, i know…. bubbles.  but this time my a.d.d. moment paid off big as one hour later… i had a crystal clear clear-com system… for no money.  i am so serious.  i think this is one of my proudest mcgyver moments ever.

so, you want to know how?  (i know you are all on the edge of your seat.  but, i’m going to tell you anyway. just humor me, i’m really proud of this. )

ok. this is what i did.  fyi, we have a yamaha pm2500 sound board.

listening set up:

1. i came out of an available matrix channel on the board with an xlr cable into a rolls pm50s personal monitor amp.
2. i plugged the 1/4″ cable on the califone hub into the rolls pm50s headphone jack.  this provided the pre-amp and power for the hub.
3. i used additional 1/4″ cable and adapters to extend headphone cords to needed length.

talk set-up:

1. i used the wireless mic we use for recording audio to video.  i just ran the mic signal to a channel the board as if i were using it for the house mix.  i could add a few  wired mics on stage as well if i ever need someone stationed backstage.  a mic you can turn off and on is really helpful as you can kill the open channel when you are not talking.
2. i sent the signal from my mic “clear-com” channels to an available sub-group.
3. i sent the sub-group to the matrix but not to the stereo channel on the board to keep it out of our house mix.
4. i turned all the sub-group knobs down on the “clear-com” matrix channel except for the “clear-com” sub-group.
5. i went through other matrix channels and turned “clear-com” sub-group down as not to send our clear-com banter to the nursing mother’s room, house recording, and so forth.
6. viola!  strong signal… and crystal clear.

now, i had all of this stuff laying around.  but, this is how much it would cost if i were to buy the pieces to build this:

1. comparable califone system new: $188
   but, i found one on ebay that sold for: $69.99
2. 1 xlr cable: $15 (i didn’t have very far to go – longer the cable, higher the price.)
3. rolls pm50s personal monitor amp: $50.00 (this goes before the califone hub so only one is needed no matter how many stations you use.)
4. 1/4″ cable – i used about 60′ for 2 stations:  $20.00 ea. ($40)
5. I had to use 2-1/4″ mono-f to mono-f adapters: $3 ea. ($6)  (this is what i had on hand… though i might consider buying some of these instead to reduce the number of links in the chain that could degrade the signal.)
6. microphones:  this sennheiser is modestly priced and has an on/off switch: $55.00 (but use whatever you have)
7. TOTAL:  about $250 for two listening stations and one talk station. (price of adding additional listening stations is in 1/4′ cable only.  additional talk stations require cable and mic.)  this is about the price for each head set in a true clear-com system.
   

downsides… this system is definitely not a perfect clear-com system.  but it will do in a pinch.  here are the disadvantages i forsee.

1. not everyone will be able to talk due to mic availability.  but the key positions can talk easily by simply picking up a mic.  not perfect, or as convenient as true, two-way clear-com, but it works.
2. eq, trim and faders all play a role in volume and clarity and are not conveniently located for video producer to adjust in a live environment without disturbing the foh guy.  however, it really shouldn’t require any adjustment once set up.
3. there’s no individual volume control.  but on the other hand everyone hears the same thing so whoever is talking can gauge their volume accordingly since they are hearing the same thing everyone else is.  i’ve been nearly deafened on true clear-com systems due to the differences in everyone’s volume adjustments.
4. the headsets are made of heavy plastic, but plastic none the less. so they will have to be handled gingerly from week to week.  but they fit snugly, are washable and do a fairly decent job of noise cancellation.  plus, they are cheap and easily replaceable.  sound quality is irrelevant – clarity is my only concern and they are clear as a bell.

i’m so thankful that part of god’s provision for us is giving us really creative ways to solve problems.  it makes life more interesting, i think.

what really creative ideas has god given you?
what is your greatest mcgyver moment?